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Women's Rites
Of Passage
(formally from 'Medicine Wheel Lodge' in respect of Cheryl's rites of
passage enthusiasm.)
The
Celebration of Womanhood
Now
Playing: 'Prarie Winds'
By: Cody Sunbear Blackbird
From CD: Raven Speaks
Contact
Sitting Owl for a copy
_and_Daughters.jpg)
Sitting Owl's Great
Great Grandmother
(Mum's side) and her daughters.
Women's
Rites Of Passage
By:
Cheryl Hart with Sitting Owl
Modern day society, with the absence of rites of passage ceremonies
and its disconnection from nature has had detrimental effects on the
society at large; both men and women. Our subject here however is
women’s rites of passage .
Rites
of Passage always involve three stages:
1. Separation:
Separation
from the existing limited awareness of all that is familiar and secure
(in this case childhood). It is important to acknowledging the fear
and resistance, with awareness that we have no choice, but to let go
and face the fear of the unknown. At this stage the community has to
see that the initiate is ready for the transition. In the case of
women’s rites this is evident in her menstruation.
2.
Transition Rites or the Adventure: This is a
hazing period, when we are in full flight of the adventure. This is
where we face the fears head on, as the grip of old consciousness
fades, and in time merges with new revelations. This is a time when
our faith is tested, a time when the community support is needed for
wisdom and clarity. This is fulfilled by the sharing of wisdom of the
elders. This is the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’. This is a time to
surrender to The Great Spirit and His mystery.
3.
Rites of Incorporation - the Return: The
return of the same person, but forever changed. The ceremony or ritual
has penetrated the subconscious. The deed has been achieved and the
initiate has accepted the gift, which has brought her to self
recognition and a deep understanding of surrender. Celebration and
community support enhances the individual’s experience to trust in
the cycles of life. There is a strong sense of belonging and
acceptance from the community of this new mature woman.
These rites of passage ceremonies connected all women to each other in
a meaningful way. And the blessings and understanding of the women’s
role as the life givers were carried with much pride and transferred
to the initiate’s consciousness so that all women were united and
proud of such a responsibility.
In traditional cultures menstruation (or Moon Time) was considered a
very sacred time, and when that time came the women would leave
whatever they were doing and go to the menstrual lodge. The rest of
the tribe took over their duties, tended to the children and brought
them meals for three days, honouring this sacred time. This is how it
is with all of nature including the moon, which is dead or dark for
three days, just as Jesus was dead in his tomb for three days.
Every month at the time of their menstruation the women would gather
at their menstrual lodges where they would reconnect with their
sisters. Here they would laugh, share and reconnect. They understood
their role as women and were aware of their connection to Great
Spirit, and the gift that had been bestowed upon them as the life
givers.
They used this time to pray and give gratitude for the role
that they played as a woman. They would bleed into Mother Earth,
replenishing her and giving back for all that she had given them. They
rejoiced in their womanhood and they were aware of the magic of this
time of month, and with the wisdom of life that was accessible at this
time of going within, including the wisdom that life, in its intrinsic
nature, is painful.
They honoured their emotional sensitivity,
bringing to their awareness emotions that needed to be confronted.
They understood that the pain felt deep within was proof that they
were the vehicles of life in their readiness to bring forth a new
manifestation of life. This pain that was shared and understood
amongst the women bonded them further as they were able to empathise
with each other. Meantime all the rest of the tribe were eager to have
their women return from the lodge, with their newly found wisdom and
clarity for the benefit of the whole tribe.
Puberty and the onset of a girl’s first menstruation marked the
beginning of her reproductive life. Nature decides for us when our
body is physically ready to menstruate and produce life, but
menstruation alone is not enough in our western society of today to
make the changes needed for the transition from a child into a woman.
A girl’s first rite of passage was regarded as the most important,
as the timing of this menstruation and the importance of the ripeness
of the initiate signalled to the other women the need to pass on their
knowledge and traditions.
All women in the tribe were proud of their
role to impart their wisdom, share stories, to nurture and to prepare
the young one for their new role in the tribe. The women assisted the
initiate by passing on their knowledge and leaving her to contemplate
their teachings, to connect with Great Spirit and to release all of
her fears and resistance before embarking on her new role. She would
reflect on her childhood, and all that was familiar and she would allowed
herself to die from this role and be reborn. When the women felt that
she was ready, a ceremony or ritual was conducted.
These rituals solidified a new identity helping individuals to
function and fit into the community as responsible adults. The
understanding of the cycles of change was passed down from the wise
elders of the tribe, who reinforced these necessary role changes with
ceremony and ritual. These rituals all had much symbolism, which
affected the initiates on both a conscious and a subconscious level.
Due to the symbolism and dramas of these ceremonies, and the way they
were undertaken, they left an everlasting and indelible imprint on the
psyche. They evoked a sense of awe and created a lasting and powerful
image on the whole community. These milestones were never forgotten
and most importantly, they were understood, accepted and supported by
the community at large.
These ceremonies greatly enhanced the
initiate’s ability to move forward into their new role with pride
and respect during these important transitions. This Ceremony also
greatly effected the community or tribe by reminding them of there
responsibility in responding to the initiate in a new way, in their
new role as an important mature member of the community.
After the ceremony the new woman in the tribe was welcomed into the
sisterhood, the circle of women, and then into the tribe or community
at large in her new role. She would attend the menstrual lodge every
month to reconnect and share with her sisters, also reconnecting to
the shared women’s wisdom, walking with pride, respect and gratitude
for the role that she is to play. She would take part in the future
puberty rites of passage to educate and share her knowledge and make
the transition easier for her new sisters.
This rite of passage set
the way for all initiates to better deal with life’s changes, and
the seasons of life. It would teach of surrender to Great Spirit and
Mother Earth and to trust in life. Our Western Society is in
resistance to change and we fight it not wanting to let go and this
causes us great pain.
Another
very important rite of passage for women is menopause, and here is
what Lynn Andrews has to say about it.
Changing Woman
Gateway
to a Woman’s
Greatest Beauty
By
Lynn Andrews
“Wise
blood.” What a
beautiful
expression,
exquisite in its
richness of life,
dignity and promise.
Wise
blood, the time in
every woman’s life
when she has lived
long enough and
experienced more
than enough to
become “one who
knows,” a woman
who has gone through
the gateway of
Changing Woman and
stepped into her own
sacred self. It is the
time when a
woman’s spiritual
life truly begins,
for change of life
is but a process of
rebirth into new
responsibilities,
new mirrors and new
power in life.
Not
that long ago, the
grandparents held
the position of the
“ones who know
how,” the wisest
and most respected
members of their
communities. With the
wisdom of their
elders as their
backbone, they had
lived through their
own time in history,
adding to the
knowledge and wisdom
imparted to them,
and it was their
role to pass it all
on to the next
generations.
Today,
much has changed and
not always for the
better. Gone from our
lives are teachings
of our elders, who
are all too
frequently shunted
off to hidden
corners of our
lives. Gone also the
rites of passage
given to us by the
elders, those
initiations which
marked the
individual and
social growth of a
people, which taught
us what was coming
and what was
expected of us at
different stages of
our lives. Gone, indeed,
are our communities
themselves and the
structure which they
had provided for
tens of thousands of
years. In just a few
short centuries, the
ways of living that
had stood the vast
majority of people
on this earth in
good stead for eons
have, themselves,
been stood on their
heads. All we have
to do is look around
us at the chaos,
confusion and stress
that our world faces
today to see that we
are not necessarily
better off because
of it.
Yet
if we take a second
look around, we see
on every horizon the
glimmer of hope and
promise for a better
future. Women the
world over are
struggling to
understand the true
meaning, the essence
of our lives, and it
is women,
especially, who are
taking the lead in
shaping the promise
that beckons.
And
one of the most
inspiring and
profound things that
I see happening
today is that
shamans and medicine
people all over the
earth are coming
forward to return to
a world that had
once turned its back
on the knowledge and
wisdom of the
ancient ways of all
people, as it has
been preserved and
handed down from
shaman to
apprentice, from
mother to daughter
and father to son,
in an unbroken chain
for tens of
thousands of years.
What a truly
amazing time it is
to be alive, today!
I
have had the great
blessing over the
last 30 years of my
life to be an
apprentice to –
and now a member of
– one such society
of shamans, the 44
women of the
Sisterhood of the
Shields. These are
indigenous women
from three different
continents who are
practitioners and
guardians of a
feminine
spirituality that is
as old as human
memory, even longer,
perhaps, for who can
truly comprehend the
passage of 50,000
years when most of
us can’t imagine
what it will be like
to turn 50? Yet turn 50
we will, ‘God
willing and the
creek don’t
rise!’ It was my
good fortune to make
the difficult
passage into
menopause under the
guidance of these
Native elder women.
Western
society holds up for
women a particularly
pernicious (harmful
Ed.) image of aging,
that of an old witch
with a wart on her
nose, totally devoid
of beauty and power,
standing over a
bubbling pot of
darkness after
losing her turf to
younger,
“prettier”
women. It is an
image which says,
“It’s either
this or be hidden
away, because
there’s only so
much the surgeon’s
knife can do.”
Like the
young girl’s
passage into first
blood, in today’s
world a woman’s
passage into wise
blood has become
something to hide,
something to dread,
even, perhaps, a
source of
humiliation. And what a
terrible tragedy
this is.
I
was taught that
there are four
passages in every
woman’s life, four
cycles of fertility,
which are to be
honored and
celebrated for the
incredible and
unique gifts they
hold: First blood,
when a girl moves
from the exuberant
imagination of
childhood into the
beginnings of her
own cycle of
fertility and
creation in the
world; marriage,
whether to her
partner or to her
artistry, when she
truly begins to
conceive what her
own gifts to the
world will be;
childbirth, whether
it is the birthing
of a baby or the
birthing of her
talent and intellect
into the world; and
wise blood, when she
moves from fertility
of the body into
fertility of the
spirit. Yet only two
of these passages
are even
acknowledged –
marriage and
childbirth – and
all too frequently
they are
acknowledged only if
they conform to
certain socially
prescribed notions.
Of course
woman is leading the
struggle to
understand the true
essence of life in
the 21st
century! For the last
several centuries
she has been allowed
to be seen as only a
very circumscribed
part of herself, a
very limited part of
life.
In
the old way, as
taught to me by
Agnes Whistling Elk,
Ruby Plenty Chiefs
and the women of the
Sisterhood of the
Shields, all of
these cycles of
woman were honored
and instructed by
initiations and
rites of passage
which supported,
guided and
celebrated women
through these
glorious seasons of
her life! With each
passage, there is a
new plateau that
needs to be
recognized, a time
not only of sacred
ceremony but also of
taking stock and
silent
introspection,
guided by the love
and wisdom of those
who have gone
before. To them, the
gateway of Changing
Woman is profoundly
strengthening and
filled with joy.
It is a rite
of passage in a
woman’s life that
needs to be fully
illuminated so that
the actual event of
menopause – when a
woman’s monthly
bleeding cycle stops
and another cycle
begins – becomes
not the inevitable
onset of aging and
decline but the
access to the
beginning of a new
and beautiful way of
life.
In
today’s society,
it is so difficult
for a woman going
through menopause to
find any
comprehensive
information or
support for the
strange and often
unsettling changes
she is experiencing,
let alone an
honoring and
celebration of her.
We joke about
our hot flashes and
lapses of attention
in an attempt to
make them less
frightening, but
there is still a
general feeling that
as we age, we are no
longer beautiful, as
our external beauty
“wanes,” we will
lose our power.
Never do we
hear someone say,
“Look into the
eyes of one who has
gone through the
gateway of Changing
Woman and see the
incredible
experience that
lives there; look at
the creases of her
skin and see the
amazing strength and
beauty that has
molded them.”
To
my teachers, the
gateway of Changing
Woman is the gateway
into the most sacred
time of a woman’s
existence on earth,
a time when she can
release the dominion
that time has had
over her life and at
last discover the
deeper meanings she
has always sought.
Through
ancient initiations
and wisdom, these
elder women teach
that hot flashes,
the symptoms of
shifting hormones,
are actually the
kindling of a fire
within that prepares
a woman for an
incredibly powerful
time of living.
Their heat is
the alchemy of
transformation that
clarifies the body
and spirit of
negative debris and
prepares a woman for
her new cycle of
life. Hot flashes
need to be welcomed
instead of fought
against. So when
you, as a woman
going through the
gateway of Changing
Woman, experience
hot flashes, dance
with the heat, ride
it like a fractious
horse and know that
there is something
going on that is far
more important than
the physical
rebalancing of
hormones! Wise
blood is the time
for holding not only
your blood, but,
significantly, for holding
your own power.
The
spirit’s soul
strength does not
leave our blood as
we grow older, it
gathers and grows
stronger. Its strength
will only leave the
blood if you want it
to. If you decide
that when you hit
60, you’re going
to decline, then you
will likely decline.
But
if you intend to
grow stronger in
spirit as you grow
older, then when you
hit 60 you will grow
stronger. You will seek
out ways to build up
your energy and
provide a protective
armor against
disease. You will also
find the voice of
spirit within you, a
voice that has been
ripening and growing
richer within you
during all of the
life that you have
experienced.
When
we as women learn
the old ways, we are
reintroduced to the
deep, internal
beauty that comes
with age, a beauty
that makes itself
visible by virtue of
its innate power.
As you feel
this beauty, you
will express it, and
all those with whom
you come into
contact will be
touched by your
newfound strength,
your heightened
awareness and the
loveliness that
emanates from deep
within you.
So
who is Changing
Woman? Changing
Woman is you. She is every
woman who has lived
long enough to go
through the gateway
of menopause, a
gateway which stands
between the two
worlds of woman.
The first
world of woman is
where we are
dedicated to
physical existence
and the fertility of
our bodies, the
raising of family
and career, choices
in relationships and
the conditioning of
family and society.
The second
world of woman, the
second ring of
power, is filled
with the fertility
of spirit, the
enlightened, sacred
life that marks the
second half of a
woman’s evolving.
When you go
through this gateway
with intent, you as
a woman have the
great opportunity to
meet Woman at the
Edge of Two Worlds,
the goddess from
antiquity who
initiates you into
the second ring of
power. Then you will
know for sure that
menopause has
nothing to do with
decline; it is but
the beginning of the
second half of a
glorious and
beautiful life!
Woman
at the Edge of Two
Worlds stood before
me in my cave of
initiation.
“I
am the fire,” she
said, her face
glowing. “I can only
move upward as I
burn. You, my
daughter, are
apprenticed to the
fire. Whether you
dreamed of the vast
possibility of
transformation or
not, your body is
now your teacher.
Feel the burn
of the heat and
welcome the fire,
for the fire is I,
the goddess woman
who changes you and
prepares you for
your sacred life.
Gather
knowledge about
yourself and your
body. This
knowledge is the
wood for your
central flame.”
Lynn
Andrews is the New
York Times and
internationally best
selling author of
the Medicine
Woman series, 19
books and workbooks
on spiritual growth
and personal
empowerment which
chronicle her 30
years of adventure
and experience first
as an apprentice to
power, and then as a
woman of power in
her own right.
Woman
at the Edge of Two
Worlds, The
Spiritual Journey
Through Menopause, is
the 11th
book in this
critically acclaimed
series. Please visit
her website at www.lynnandrews.com.
Comparing
this with where we are today and why we still need these rites of
passage ceremonies more than ever.
Over time, that sisterhood has become lost and the community
acceptance and support of the role of women has been undermined. The
shared wisdom has not been available, which has resulted in a
separation amongst all women.
Today women carry shame, self loathing
and are suffering from the loss of pride in their role as life givers,
which was previously revered because it was the foundation of the
community. They have struggled to live in a man’s world and
therefore have felt not strong enough, not clever enough, not pretty
enough, or not educated enough. Their nature has been denied, periods
cursed, and their ultra sensitivity, especially around menstruation,
is viewed by many as a handicap.
Pregnancy is now viewed with disdain and is considered a limitation to
career advancement causing financial loss. Pregnancy is now causing a
great deal of stress to women and theses stresses come in many forms.
One form is from the introduction of contraception and all the other
ways of altering our natural biological functions and hormonal system,
therefore causing further separation from nature. Today it is never
the right time to get married, have a baby or buy a house etc.
All too
often pregnancy is seen as an act of manipulation on the woman’s
behalf to gain attention; to snare their man; to enhance their
relationship; or to gain financial support. And although this does
occasionally happen in this day and age, all women are smeared with
this accusation to some extent. Ironically in traditional cultures
where the gift of new life was a joyous occasion and pregnancy helped
to bond the community, today it often causes more separation. Even
breast feeding was recently viewed as a chore because it was seen as
uncomfortable, messy, time consuming, and detrimental to the
mother’s figure.
Over the years the importance of women as life givers has been
forgotten not only by society, but by women themselves. How many times
have we heard women say "I'm JUST a mother", as though it
was not important. The bonds of sisterhood and oneness have been torn
apart by suspicion, envy, jealousy and betrayal. Women do not trust
one another and due to their subconscious projections they judge other
women very harshly as a result of their non-acceptance of themselves.
Women are so deprived of their value in society that many believe that
all they have is their appearance to rely on for any concept of self
esteem and pride. Many feel that the only way they can be valued is to
have acceptance from men, so the pressure of being physically
beautiful is paramount. This has further increased the ill feeling and
competitiveness between women, which in turn explains why body image
is so important these days, and why cosmetic surgery and surgical
enhancement procedures are having a boom.
Women have used this control
over men to the detriment of their sisters. Many who are so hungry for
approval by men and are motivated by the urge to prove their
desirability, have willingly stepped over and betrayed their sisters.
This adds further distrust and separation of the sisterhood. All too
often relationships are viewed as conquests and there is little
respect, honour and value placed upon them, but in ancient cultures
the sense of oneness and connection to their sisters would make this
competition unthinkable.
I am aware that there will be many reading this that will be in denial
or resistance. There may be some of you with some anger building up,
but that’s ok. If you really look deep within yourself, you will be
hit by the profound truth. This is the truth of our times, and there
will be a deep sadness that needs to be felt and acknowledged. We have
lost something of profound significance and we need to allow ourselves
to grieve. We need to forgive ourselves and all our sisters. We need
to come from a place of true compassion, which means being prepared to
suffer along side each other, and we need to see the wounds that all
women carry and the deviation from our sacredness that has occurred.
A spirit that is born in a female body and refuses to accept the fact
is a female in denial of her very essence and she will become
competitive and domineering. We are all one, so let’s live decently
amongst each other with the knowledge that to hurt another is to hurt
ourselves. We need each other and we need to learn about true
interdependence.
We as a society need to address this issue, and bring healing and
wholeness back to women and our society. I personally feel very
passionate about this and I invite anybody who feels compelled to do
some work on the healing of the sisterhood to contact
me.
Together we
can give birth to the new consciousness. I feel that in this day and
age we have found another reason for the rites of passage ceremonies.
They can play a part in the releasing of the current way of relating
and give a rebirth to the new way, which is also the ancient way of
respect and honour. To address this problem, and mark the profound
shift necessary we will need to refer back to the three stages of
transformation.
1. Separation: Separation
from the dysfunctional consciousness of disconnectedness. Here we need
to let go of all the beliefs and preconceptions about what is and is
not possible and those that support a sense of separation from each
other. We need to release our cellular memory and mechanical thinking
and separate from all that is familiar. We need to separate from our
beliefs and ideas about what it means to be a woman. We need to let go
of the illusion of competition and feelings of inadequacy and shame of
being female. We need to acknowledge the fear and resistance we may
have, but still let go.
2. Transition Rites or the Adventure: This
is where we face the fears head on, as the grip of the old
consciousness fades, and in time merges with new revelations. This is
a time when our faith is tested, a time when the support of others is
needed for wisdom and clarity and for keeping us on track, which is
fulfilled by the sharing and communicating. We need to have awareness
of all that is possible, and reflect on why we had to have this
dysfunction in the first place. We need to have forgiveness of
ourselves and all of our sisters. We need to be aware that we have no
choice, but to change, and face the fears that may arise and embrace
the unknown, which will be the new way of relating. This is a time to
surrender to The Great Spirit and His Mystery.
3. Rites of Incorporation - the Return:
The
return of the same person, but forever changed. The ceremony or ritual
has penetrated the subconscious and the healing from deep within has
been achieved. We must have the acceptance of ourselves and our new
way of being. We as women will have healed ourselves internally giving
us self recognition and a deep understanding of surrender.
Incorporation of the new ways of being, thinking and feeling can then
be lived and passed on from the heart. Celebration and community
support enhances the individual’s experience to trust in the cycles
of life. There is a strong sense of belonging and acceptance from the
community and a desire to assist others to heal within, will ensure.
There will be a desire to gather more women and to begin working on a
larger scale. This is when women can embrace each other in a rekindled
sense of sisterhood; when the real healing of our society will become
manifest.
My aim is to resurrect ritual and to re-create rites of passage
ceremonies to mark the major changes in our soul’s journey. And I
aim to bring hope, not only to our children struggling with the
confusion of adolescence and entering into adulthood, but also to
bring healing to all women by bringing back the deep connections of
sisterhood and bonding once again. Bonding is about honesty,
vulnerability and trust.
We need to let down the walls that separate
us; to put aside all judgment and jealousy, and instead choose to see
the Great Spirit within them all. We need to open our hearts to our
long lost sisters and embrace them as the lost parts of ourselves and
to come home to the sisterhood; vowing never to let them go again.
Yours in Sisterhood
Cheryl
 
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